Three Days of Cold

So I haven't updated in like a week because power outages and like eight inches of snow. No power or heat for three days. We pretty much lived around the fireplace for a little while.

I still don't know where the hell my winter coats are. I've been using my hoodie every time I step outside. I might have played in the snow anyway if I had better shoes, or at least had more than one pair.

Anyway, we were in the middle of Christmas at Gram's when everything began to go downhill. We started getting sleet and freezing rain. The steps were already iced when I went back next door, and I had to scrape my back windshield before I went home. The power went out that night - once around six, then again at eleven and it stayed off after that. I was outside when the transformer blew - big green flash somewhere behind my house and the entire street went dark, which was weird as hell.

And I'm getting cold again just talking about all this. Christmas aside, it's been a bit of a sucky vacation thus far XD But it can only get better, right?

Chirstmas Specials

Felt ill again when I got up this morning. Went back to bed for about two more hours and felt okay when I got back up. I think I'm getting over something and something else pops up. I'd just like to feel normal again please.

So it's Christmastime. That means I'm watching Hogfather. If you have Netflix, it's quite good. A very unorthodox Christmas movie to say the least. Though if you have the chance, the book is even better. It's probably my second favorite Pratchett novel, and the best of the Death arc for me. I meant to watch while cleaning my room, but that whole "being sick" thing I mentioned kinda killed that plan.

All said, I'd put the movie as my third favorite Christmas special. The first two slots are filled by Disney. I still think their version of A Christmas Carol is the best. But there's a pretty unknown short of theirs that didn't make it into the last Fantasia and it could use some more love:

So that's my life for now; waiting for the big day. Trey, as usual, doesn't have much foresight and our family hours with Baby Russ will be rushed and limited. He's going to try and hit three parties before 3:00 and get him back home by that time. Doofus.

That's It.

I'm done with this semester. I just sent in my last essay.

I've been feeling a bit better the past few days which leads me to believe a lot of my being sick really has been stress. It's still not totally gone though. I just want to sleep for a while.

I also managed to get my registration confirmed today. Every semester I have issues with registration and this year was no exception. I went up to campus to find out what this fine was about during the trip I found out some stuff that I really should have been told about months ago. But that's neither here nor there I guess. The important thing is that I'm all set for next semester, barring textbooks.

While I was up there, I went through the postcards I'd giving to Minnick so far - I couldn't recall which ones I'd already given him in the past. Luckily, I've managed to avoid giving him any repeats =) Finally got to see his new office, which is very shiny compared to the one in the English department. Not that I actually know what the one in the English department looks like under all those books he has stacked in there. Spent almost an hour just chatting with him around campus and now I feel so much better about life - I had no idea how much I needed to just talk to someone for a little while. Not about anything in particular, just not about school or working or what have you. I feel so much more relaxed for it.

Still Sick

I keep updating about how close I am to being done, but I can't seem to write about anything else XD About four pages away from being done with my essays and I have two finals left.

Still sick. Sore throat is sticking around, I'm congested and out of Kleenex, have added stomach problems to the list of issues, and on top of all the other stress a certain monthly problem has entered the equation. It's been a terrible month.

Hell, it's been an awful semester. That internship was a massive waste of time, my workload has been really heavy, constantly broke, I haven't seen any of my friends in a year, and I don't really want to whine too much so I'll stop right here XD I should probably thank Minnick for keeping me sane this year, because otherwise I'd have no one at all to talk to. And he's kept me writing at least a little, so there's that.

Working

Okay. Okayokayokayokayokayokay. Tomorrow is my Algebra final. The day after that is my Film final. I need a little more padding on the film paper, but it's done. Still struggling with my Calvino paper, but my reading journal is finished. Need to write one other essay and a quick worksheet on etymology, but my homework is otherwise complete.

So yeah. Just gotta keep working until it's all done. Not much time for a long post right now XD

Settle

So I've been worried about some stuff. Worrying that has been interfering with my ability to do my schoolwork. But tonight a lot of the anxiety seems to have melted away. I don't really know why, just that I looked up about an hour ago and realized how relaxed I felt. Maybe my anxiety reached a peak and had nowhere to go but down. Maybe watching eight episodes of Once Upon a Time offered enough distraction to forget about it for a while. Maybe I needed this exercise bike that's now sitting in my room more than I thought. Maybe it was the fact that today was, technically, the last official day of classes. Or maybe it was the chat I had with Dr. Minnick as we left campus this evening.

I guess it's easiest to say it was a combination of all of these things. I really hope it lasts, because I can't keep fretting like I have been. It's going to burn me out very quickly.

Anyway, it was the last day, but I'm not done yet. I still have some papers and projects to do and, of course, finals. My real last day will be on the 18th. My last two tests are on that day and then I can wash my hands of this semester that's been killing me. This school year has been really rough.

Broken Pedestal

Cracked... you were one of my favorite websites. Why are you killing yourself like this? D=

Have a read over those comments folks. This is what gets you banned at Cracked - sane, rational, civil discussion. Not one of those comments exists anymore. Strangely, not one of them violates the User Policy either. I can't imagine why someone at Cracked feels the need to hide these comments.

This is only four screencaps - I didn't make more. I didn't feel the need to, but over well 500 comments are missing from the comments section and now it seems the moderators are just deleting them as they come.

For those not in the know, allow me to quickly summarize the situation:

John Cheese writes this article. It's a bit condescending, but nothing to be all that upset over. Cheese follows up by specifically stating on his Facebook and Twitter that the article was an attack on the comment section of Cracked and continues shooting himself in the foot with some pretty horrific insults that I'm not comfortable repeating here. The comment section (rightfully) explodes with indignation.

I have managed to get myself banned altogether - not just my account, my IP address. For the post in the first picture.

I had commented perhaps half a dozen times since having an account with Cracked, if that, before this incident. I haven't so much as uttered a "damn" over the whole incident, so why the deletion and ban? I don't even know how to react to this much douche.

Peanuts

I'm allllmost done with classes. Monday marks the beginning of my last week, followed by finals.

I really need to finish some papers this weekend. At the very least I've like to wrap up Career Perspectives and History of the English Language by Sunday, as both are due next week. I have a rough draft due on Tuesday as well, but the actual paper won't be turned in until the 13th, so I'm not quite so under the gun. Need to do some quick papers for Film as well by Wednesday. A page or two each I think should cover it.

My first final will be Algebra, so at least I'm getting it out of the way quickly I guess. Then Film the next day. Then a week's break before I take my last two.

And... that's really it I think. That's all the big stuff anyway. The rest is just peanuts.

School Stressors

Note to Self: Registration begins December 19th. I'm planning to sign up for Fiction Writing II, Pattern Recognition, Advanced World Literature, American Literature, American Dream, and of course an Independent Study. 18 hours. I'm gonna get racked across the coals this Spring.

Scrambling to get all of my final papers finished; I've got two big ones due very soon. I'm more worried about my Calvino paper as I've not even started. Currently reading my fourth book by the author and I'm thinking about doing a comparison paper between his various novels. He's very much an author of place and setting - I adore his descriptions. I love the way he sets a mood through imagery. I'd like to make that the focus of my essay, but I'm not sure I can stretch that into ten pages.

Anyway, I'm reading Difficult Loves, which is a book of short stories. I feel like I may be reading it too quickly - I think there's a lot of deeper meaning that's getting skimmed over in my haste to get it read. There was a lovely story about a hidden garden, and I just know I missed something near the end. A lot of them are kinda like that. It's probably going to be one of those things I get a lot more of later on down the line when I'm not responsible for so many other things.

Success!

Minnink gave me the go-ahead on my Independent Study request and I really wish I could use some dA emoticons because words cannot accurately express how happy I am about this. I swear I thought he was going to turn me down.

I'll be taking a full 18 hours next semester, but this is what I'm looking forward to. I'll be helping with the radio project for a grade, doing research and editing scripts, and I'll also continue working on my postcards and reading lots of shorts and flash fic. Lots of contemporary stuff. Joe Mino, Sherwood Anderson, probably some poetry in there.

I'm going to try and follow it up this summer with a second independent study focuses solely on the writing part. And that will be nearly all of my hours. After Spring semester, I'll only have a few classes left and I think I can get the last of it during the summer. And I'll be done. I'll end up with an Associate's degree in General Studies and I'll have an English major and Creative Writing minor.

So yeah. Success!

Before the Year Ends

 School things:

• Annotation Project for History of the English Language
• Unknown Project for History of the English Language
• Study up for Algebra Final
• 10 page paper on Italo Calvino
• Make a resume
• Complete Self Assessment and Reflection for Career Perspectives.
• Will probably have to write a paper on Hitchcock for Film as Literature
• Probably won't have any other Finals though.
• Keep working on radio project with Minnick, don't forget about the 12th.

But the semester is nearly over, so I'm going to need some new projects to take on soon.

•  Make another hollow book. I think I could do much better on the second round. Though I doubt I'll be able to get the edges clean.
• Fill a bottle full of origami stars. I haven't folded any in quite a while, not since I filled up the last bottle. I even used up my entire backup stash.
• Flash fiction contest - I opted not to do one during NaNo because, you know, class and finals and holidays, but I really do new to come up with a decent prompt. I've been suggested "vintage," something taking place in a diner, a Catholic confessional, and instant and unspoken love.
• Write way too many postcards. I've been slacking on putting things in mailboxes. I'm going to need more flash fiction stories.
• Make a card for the deviantART Holiday Card Project. Make multiple if possible because I'm such a mail whore and hate hoarding stamps for very long.
• I really want to try that melted crayon thing. It looks pretty cool and super easy.
• I should really make use of that origami kit that I got for my birthday. I still suck at folding paper though - you have no idea how truly terrible I am at making anything more complicated than a Lucky Star.
• Collect some leaves. Find something to do with them.

Also, make more use of Netflix. Dad wants me to watch Once Upon A Time so he can have someone to talk about it with. I've got a bunch of anime to catch up on myself; I've got Serial Experiments Lain lined up and will be going for Kino No Tabi next. Maybe an action series after that.

I've even managed to read most of the books I've had lying around. I feel so accomplished.

Vertigo

I gave Minnick the book I hollowed out today (well, yesterday now). I fail at keeping things under wraps for very long. I think he liked it. He smiled a lot about it anyway =D Hopefully he'll make use of it. I'd like to try another one in the future, but I need a break from cutting pages for a while.

Meanwhile, I got watch my first Hitchcock film tonight. Vertigo. Probably my favorite movie of the semester. Not going on my favorite movies list or anything, but I did get more into it than I thought I would. I still don't care much for suspense, but I'd be willing to try out more Hitchcock films.

Never Google Medical Problems

Been getting a very brief, sharp pain around my shoulder blade whenever I breathe deeply. This is a symptom of everything from bronchitis to a heart attack.

....

So, yeah. I don't think I'm dying, but I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me anxious. I can still feel my pulse, so I'm guessing it's not a heart attack XD Hopefully I'll manage to sleep tonight anyway. I usually feel better about things in the morning.

It's only in one place and only when I take a deep breath, kinda like a pricking feel. It doesn't really hurt, it's just kind of annoying. I noticed it a while ago at night when I was trying to get to sleep. I thought it was in my chest, but I'm pretty sure now it's something in my back. I think I was confused then because I was always lying down, so I misjudged where the feeling was coming from.

Trey tells me he had the same symptom when he got bronchitis, so I'm leaning towards that explanation. If it keeps up I'll have to mention it to someone, but for now I want to wait and see what happens. I don't want to panic over nothing, but if it gets at all worse I'll go ahead and jump the gun.

I'm really cold now because my hair is still wet from the shower and Mimi won't turn the heat on, so my constant shivering isn't exactly helping me feel better. It just makes me feel like I have hypothermia on top of everything else.

I just realized bronchitis would explain why I've been congested the last few days. I already went through my allergy phase this season, so needing an Allegra earlier was kinda baffling me. It might not have been a generic cold like I thought. I dunno. Just feeling off lately I guess. It's too late in the semester to be worrying about this crap.

But hey, better than a heart attack, right? XD

I Hate You All

I don't start blogs to hear myself talk. I start them to interact with people. I can talk to myself in my physical notebooks. If no one has any interest, then stop letting me waste my time.

Hollowed Out

It's messy, but I'm proud of myself. I had to glue things, measure things, cut things, draw things, paint things, buy things - probably the most complex project I've ever taken on.

The cutting was the most difficult part, especially around the corners. I can't make a straight line to save my life. I'm happy enough though. I likely would have made it worse if I tried to smooth out the edges too much. Best to quit while you're ahead and all XD

I went with blue and gold because it IS a present for Minnick - his school colors were blue and gold. I don't know if he'll pick up on that when I give it to him, but it seemed like a good choice. I haven't decided if I'll do anything to the back or not yet.

It's not super big or anything, but it will hold the postcards I've been writing for him. Much better than a folder.

Walking in Hail

I went for a walk in a hailstorm today.

It wasn't hailing when I went out - I just wanted a picture of the sunset. There's a decent place to take photos a little ways down my street. After I snapped a few, I went a bit further to another area for some different shots.

Crappy picture taken with a phone because I no longer have a camera.

Anyway, it started hailing about the time I began to head back. Fairly small, pea-sized at first and got bigger about halfway back. The largest nugget I found was about half the size of a ping pong ball. I was thoroughly soaked by the rain, it looked like it snowed in my yard, I'm not sure my shoes are going to be dry tomorrow morning, and the hail left welts all over my chest.

Still, it really was a gorgeous afternoon. The autumn yellows looked stunning against the blue-grey of the sky. I really wish I had a camera.

I'm Still Here, Even if No One Else Is

Maybe I should make this a weekly update instead?

I spent my Halloween watching American Beauty in Film class. I liked it well enough I guess, but I don't care to ever see it again. I felt awkward watching it; everyone is dysfunctional in that flick. At least I managed to sit through it though - last week, I got up and left halfway through There Will Be Blood. I don't make it any secret that I can't stomach horror movies, but the other thing that really gets to me is tension. And I don't mean regular run-of-the-mill tension need to make a good story, I mean where they're obviously winding you up for something to happen. That was the feeling I got last week, and why I finally had to leave; that sort of suspense just crawls up my spine. (Honestly, I think I would have handled it better if not for that freaking soundtrack).

Got a translation project due on Tuesday - not too worried about it, just need to get it done. No math homework this weekend makes me a happy panda. Been chatting with Dr. Minnick about his radio project and my postcards. Need to set up an advising appointment soon, playing with recording technology, going to play some PSP this weekend. Life's pretty okay lately.

My Other Blog

I've had a WordPress account for a while, but didn't really have anything to do with it. I'd been mulling over the possibility of using one blog for personal things and the other exclusively for writing, and now I'm going to try that experiment. Not that I'll never talk about writing over here or anything, but, if I can manage it, that's all I'll talk about on WordPress, and hopefully more in-depth over there.

I'm also planning to read and record some pieces I've written. I've finally figured out a decent method that eliminates most of the background noise and makes it easy to record, convert, and upload. So I now maintain this blog, a writing blog, a weekly dA update, and my creative writing journal. Four journals yall. So hardcore.

Priorities; I Have Them.

I wrote a poem tonight. Awesome.

I had already written Chalk White and knew I wanted to do more with it. But I had more or less forgotten all about the Poetry Screams contest. For some reason, I remembered tonight and pull my Word document up.

I like to research things when it comes to my writing. Initially, I was getting a bit of a Civil War vibe from the piece. It went in a totally different direction when my Google searching somehow landed me on will-o'-the-wisps. Then I found the local legend of a weird lantern light not far from where I live. It worked perfectly with the "beckoning lanterns" line I already had.

I love it when things fall into place. I do want to work more on it some time, but I like it a lot where it stands.

Oh yeah, and I voted today too. Whatever.

Suddenly Popular

Today has been surreal.

I woke up around noon and logged on to dA to find 94 messages. It's too early to be another DD - it doesn't take me long to realize my Words the English Language Needs has taken off and even made the news footer.

I am utterly baffled by the popularity of this article and every time I glance at the footer I do a double take XD So it's hardly any different from getting a DD really. What really tickles me about the whole thing is that most of the people commenting/ faving are visual artists; I haven't seen many names from the Literature community. I feel like an ambassador =P

Over the course of the day I've been trying to keep my messages under control. Every time I got one set of faves deleted, ten more popped up. I've been giving out llamas instead of individually thanking everyone for the love. Everyone wins with llamas. I've given out somewhere around 150 badges today. I got my inbox down to 8, went out for an hour, and came back to 55 messages.

Now I'll probably have to expand the follow-up into a full news article. Who knew educational articles were so popular?

Send Me Topics

Because I've run out of things to write about at the moment. I don't feel up to being creative in regards to my blog right now. And not a whole lot is happening IRL, so I'm rather at a loss :/

Midterms

So I dropped my tutoring internship. It's just been too much trouble - I was never shown what I was supposed to do, no one ever answered my e-mails or even seemed that willing to help, and I was wasting too much gas to keep coming to Little Rock five days a week to sit in a classroom and fail. And that's probably what was going to happen - the grade is based on participation and the paper you write detailing your tutoring experiences. As I didn't HAVE any tutoring experiences, this sounded like the only move I could make.

Everything else is going fairly well though. I had my Algebra midterm yesterday and I think I did alright. Made an 89 on my History of English language midterm which is totally awesome; I thought I was struggling in that class. Film was a B, mainly because I missed seeing Nosferatu. I'm not too worried about Approaches or Perspectives either. They don't even have a midterm.

I've slacked off in postcards as I've run out of international stamps, but have been exchanging letters instead. I'm okay with that =D

I Forget to Update Sometimes

If I ever get my camera memory card back, I could upload all these postcards I've gotten the past few weeks. But my brother likely has no intention of ever getting it back, so I'll have to wait until I get a new camera.

So I was looking up some class information and I noticed something; I don't think I'm enrolled in the Internship course I signed up for ages ago. This is a problem.

I'm not sure if I was ever in it, or if I was somehow removed, or if it's some sort of glitch, but I kinda need that sorted out.

In other news, Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep =D I haven't started it yet, but I'm taking it with me to class tomorrow. I've got a nice three hour gap to get some gametime in.

It's Been an Odd Week

Monday was business as usual. Tuesday was me sleeping through my alarm, a fire alarm interrupting Algebra, Approaches to Lit. was cancelled, and I didn't go to Adolescent Lit. because I had to meet Mom for art. Wednesday, Career Perspectives was cancelled due to lack of speaker and Film was a test I finished in 30 minutes. Thursday was mostly normal, though I left Adolescent Lit. early to make writing class where one of the members that we haven't seen in a month showed up and I got to say "fuck" a lot. And today, Friday, after my usual middle school not-tutoring stuff I went to a party downtown for the school literary magazine and spent most of the time reading because the place is apparently also a bookstore.

So I feel like I've accomplished nothing and a lot this week. It's a weird sensation.

Also, I wrote a bunch of color poems.

I Fail at Pattern Recognition in My Own Life

I don't know why I only realized it a few days ago, but I give my writing away a lot.

My postcard project that I've been leaving for Dr. Minnick, my writing notebooks, my supposed-to-be-exclusively-for-classwork reflection journals, inserted into letters, left on sidewalks in chalk or on dry-erase boards - it's like I have this pseudo-obsession with leaving it all lying around for somebody to find.

I'm not sure what this says about me - that I want to be read? Discovered? Or I just like making somebody's day a little more surreal? (I think it's the last one.)

Last week, Dr. Minnick was asking if I kept the original copies and drafts of my work, which is how I noticed this pattern. I do keep all of my work - right up until I give away another notebook. I often post initial drafts online for feedback as well, so things are rarely lost for me. Still won't use Stash. Anyway, I was explaining my habit of mailing off my notebooks to him and he's the one all of my postcards go to; having the two things side-by-side in my head made me realize how often I just give my work away.

It honestly puzzles me now that I think about it. Aren't writers supposed to be possessive of their work or something? I never really thought twice about it until now.

I Am Terrified of Things with Exoskeltons

I needed a shower tonight. I got one, but in the aftermath was forced into hand-to-wing combat with Nature's terrorist: the cockroach. And let me tell you, fighting terrorism is no fun when you're naked and your hair is wet.

The formalities began when I entered the bathroom and flicked on the light. Being of sensitive peripheral vision, I immediately noticed the scurry of brown far below, and also being of supremely excellent reflexes jumped a good six inches backwards over the threshold with, I might add, enough of a muffled scream that my grandmother did not rush to see what was happening.

Realizing the gravity of the situation, I made a quick spot check to see - yes, the roach was hiding around the sink cabinet. Making a tactical retreat to grab a shoe, I returned to find my enemy vanished; to where, I knew not. No doubt to some dark crevice whence I could not follow.

It was late; I still needed a shower. I shrugged off the situation as best I could, but not amount of hot water could ease the apprehensive tension growing between my shoulder blades. I would have to fight this enemy again. With any luck at all, my foe would not rear his exoskeleton until after my nightly cleansing ritual.

Luck was on my side, but She is a fickle goddess; though my shower remained unbugged, I was attacked almost immediately upon my exit. And this time, I had nothing heavy on hand, no weapon of smiting. Looking around for something, anything to MacGuyver with, the cockroach took the opportunity to scurry across the floor and begin crawling the wall. I spotted my makeshift weapon - a tissue box. The roach made it to the towel rack.

As a towel rack is a rather awkward shape, one less than ideal for smiting, I waited. Waited for him to move to a less advantageous position. This was a mistake. For he readied himself with a twitch and FLEW RIGHT AT MY FUCKING FACE FUCKFUCKFUCKTHISAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

He missed - towels make excellent shields. He hit the floor and ran. I slammed the box down and held. Then pulled up to do a body check. No good - still alive. Hit him again. And again. Once more for good measure. Then sweep him under the rug and find something heavier to grind the body to crumbs with.

Then I finished drying off and got dressed. And thus ends my epic battle with a cockroach. Lauren: 1, Terrorism: 0.

October

One of my favorite months <3 Been having some lovely weather lately - kinda grey and rainy, though not very much rain. It's very relaxing.

I didn't catch up on as much homework as I would have liked over the weekend, but I managed a lot. Mainly my Lit. journal. Need to finish some linguistic stuff before Thursday too, and get my Algebra website issue straightened out, but I feel a little more balanced than I did last week.

Other than that, I've been working on a piece for Poetry Screams. Dr. Minnick is wonderfully helpful and I really do need to buy him lunch sometime. It's the least I owe him. Currently on my third draft of this thing; my library group aside, I don't have much occasion to share my writing with people I know IRL. And even less occasion to ask advice from people who really know what they're doing.

He really wants me to do something with those postcards though - apparently that's a publishable idea. I'm not really sold on that, but I guess I can at least mull it over and try some things. I'm glad he likes reading them because I really enjoy writing them X3

Disbanded

I had something to post about, but I forgot it. I'll talk about writing class instead.

Today was a wonderful writing class after a string of terrible ones. Terrible in that I was the only regular showing up. Once was due to all the rain scarring everybody off (even though I was coming from the furthest away). Two weeks later, I was once again the only one showing up. And the class before this, same deal.

Apparently what has happened it one of the regulars never got one of his pieces back from the writing group - we have lives, people lose papers; that's how it is. However, he's convinced that they stole it. Why? I don't know. So he's not showing up because he thinks his work will get stolen, and the other two regulars aren't showing because they've been accused of stealing, and I've been sitting in the classroom wondering what the hell happened to everybody.

All this came out today's session because Jen had been saying that something had happened but wasn't spilling any details until I kept pressing. The upside to this is that around the time everyone started dropping, some new writers decided to show up and we effectively have a new group of people.

The new group is very open to criticism and learning, and today was more about how to give critique than an actual workshop as is usual the second meeting of the month. Both are older ladies who are kinda novices at writing - one writes poems with that painfully sing-songy end rhyme and the other writes prose though I've not had a chance to read anything from her yet.

So yeah. The old group had a good run I guess, but it looks like it's gone. I can't figure out why he thinks his work has been stolen. If I can put everything I have online without worrying about copyright, he shouldn't have such a big issue =/ None of us in the group are/were anywhere close to publishing level or anything, so it's not like that's a factor.

At the end of the day, all of my stuff goes online because I would only be depriving myself of learning opportunities by hoarding it. If I want to get to publishing level, I have to put it out there. That's just how it works.



Note to Self: Minnick recommends Joe Meno. Look him up later. Second note to Self: catch up on Approaches to Lit. journal this weekend.

My Sleeping Schedule is Shot

I was hanging out in the English department (surprise) last week. I think it was on Wednesday. In fact, I know it was Wednesday because film was cancelled and that's why I was up there so late. No one expects me home before nine on Wednesdays.

As usual, Minnick is the last person to leave, grumbling about his 17 hour day, which is how I learned he wakes up at 5AM every morning. But that's not the point of my story.

Last night/ today, I went to bed at 7AM in this morning.

I'm pretty sure that's the latest I've ever stayed up, but I could be wrong. This hasn't happened in a while. I got caught up reading. I pulled away long enough to wonder why it had gotten so much brighter in my room and realized the sun was coming up. It seems like the later I stay up, the less sleepy I get. If I can make it to about 4AM, I can keep going indefinitely. I've never tried to test how far I can go. I don't know if my body just starts pumping adrenaline or what, but I've always found it odd.

I woke up about six hours later, laid in for another hour, then finally got up around 2:00 (about six hours ago). Thankfully, I don't have to get up before noon tomorrow; tutoring isn't until the afternoon.

But that's still not the point of my story. The point is, the last thing I remember thinking before going to bed was that Minnick had already been up two hours getting shit done XD

Morning people baffle me.

This is Pretty Cool

Got this in the mail today, from DrippingWords:

The outside

The inside

It's a collection of most of the color poems from myself and people around dA. And will possibly expand to include the people of Goodreads where the form has apparently taken off as well =D 

I knew she was making me something for my birthday, but I didn't see this coming at all. I also have a new penpal (assuming I can manage full letters on a regular basis anyway).

Meanwhile, Minnick has been encouraging me to take pictures or keep notes of my Postcard Fiction project, so here's what that looks like as well:

I try to make the story and picture match when I can, with varied levels of success. The latest batch of pieces I wrote were directly inspired by some of the cards I've bought online which turned out pretty nicely. I'm glad he seems to like reading them because I really enjoy writing them <3 I like the extra dimension the card gives to the story.

Breakable

First my laptop crashes. Okay, I get it fixed. Then *I* take a crash. Not so quickly fixed.

I've talked about my laptop enough on dA, so here's the other half. Went to drop off the office laundry today. It's been raining, but I'm wearing flip flops because it feels nice outside. A guy with a broken leg is holding the door for me, so I try to speed it up a little bit. That's when I take a spill. Flip flops have no traction and I guess even the sidewalk can be slick in the rain.

The right side of my right foot is rather swollen, but I have tutoring at 2:00, and I'll have to make it up anyway if I don't go. One of the office ladies gets me an ice pack, and off I go. I think that's helped keep it down for the most part. I can walk on it, but veeeeery slowly. Tomorrow is going to suck, but it can't be helped.

Suddenly, a Knock on the Door

Etgar Keret is my new favorite author and I'll never again doubt any book recommendations Minnick sends my way.

I've been reading and writing flash fiction for years, but never realized there were people who did it professionally. I've seen authors write flash fic of course, but it was usually a one off thing on the side, for a magazine or something. This is exactly the kind of thing I've always wanted to find in a brick-and-mortar bookstore.

I picked up Suddenly a Knock on the Door about a week ago and read the entire thing in a few hours. Partly because I hated to put it down, but also because it isn't very long - I think the longest story in there was maybe five or six pages, if that. I was kinda reminded of Harris Burdick stories; you just kinda go with a lot of the logic and don't really question it. Of course there's a magic gumball machine buried under a stone in that guy's childhood backyard and he found out about it through a dream. Why wouldn't there be? It almost borders on magical realism at times. I really enjoyed the nonchalant tone that even the strangest events were treated with.

It's kinda neat to realize there are people out there doing what I've been doing and being successful at it. I didn't realize there was an audience for flash fiction outside of the Internet.

Writing Letters

I think anyone who reads my stuff with any regularity knows I send mail like it's going out of style (well, it is, but that's beside the point). But as often as I talk about postcards, I don't really talk about my letters so much.

Basically, if you aren't related to me and you matter to me in some important way, you get a letter. It's that simple. I've written them to friends, teachers, veterans, and even complete strangers when I felt like striking up a penpal relationship. And not some short one page nonsense - I write long letters. At least three or four pages usually.

So when Letters-To-Myself put up a challenge to write a letter to a teacher, I think it was inevitable that I would ending up writing one for Minnick. Everyone important gets a letter. That's how I operate.

I don't really know how or why I began doing that, but I think it's a good habit to cultivate. People deserve to know when they're making a difference, even if it's only to one person. Letters are the best way I've found to say what you need to say to someone, when you need to get all the thoughts organized, or even when you don't know what to say at all.

One of the reasons I wasn't going to write it was because I wasn't sure what I could say that he didn't already know. But once I started, I found it. I knew I had something to say, but I had to find it first and that's when that old essay popped up and I guess a few things just clicked for me.

Anyway, I was really writing to say I did give it to him this afternoon, because I know someone will ask me that and I may as well get it out of the way. Apparently, you get those sorts of letters when you need them.

Epic Postcard Post

Finally found a way to take decent photos of these things. I've had trouble getting the stupid lighting right because my room is a weird place that eats bright light. Turns out all I have to do is balance them on top of the lamp.

I said I was going to try and post them all, but I don't feel like posting 34 pictures. But here's a general look at my collection thus far. As always, click to make them bigger.

Top and clockwise; cards from Russia, Netherlands, Finland, and Denmark.

Left to right; from Brazil, Finland, Turkey, Croatia, and Ukraine.

This one is fairly large. Russian

The card ID is Denmark, with a Romanian stamp, and the sender is from Germany.

From a 13 year old in Belarus. The backside had an Olympics marker on it.

This batch here is from people I actually know, mostly through dA. From top left going clockwise we have cards from Cassildra, Bill/Phaldus, Xlntwtch, DrippingWords, and DoodlerTM.

My love of Autumn is well documented. Denmark

I think this is my favorite card so far. Click to see all the lovely details.

May post more later, but probably not XD

Twenty-Two

Another birthday, come and gone. I still don't feel any older, and haven't really since, like, thirteen or something I dunno.

No party, just chicken spaghetti at my parents place. A Barnes & Noble gift card and an origami set. A whiteboard decal that was ruined when I tried to put it up because my brother is too lazy to get out of the chair and help someone, even on their birthday.

School goes and I'm trying to play catch-up now that I finally have my books (save the MathLab packet). All I have to do for that one is pass - as in, make 60% or higher. I'm not setting the bar very high here. Especially since I can't even understand the guy's accent.

Anyway, on Thursday I got out of my language history class early, so I'm waiting for the current Algebra class to leave. Class starts at 1:40 - I got there about 1:25. I'm standing outside the room with five or six other people until about 2:00. Slowly, it begins to dawn on us that our class has already started, and he's been teaching for the past 30 minutes.

I repeat - class doesn't even start until 1:40. He was already teaching at least 15 minutes before anyone was even supposed to be there. Those of us outside made a decision - if he's going to teach early, then we'll be leaving early thank you very much.

So I guess I got the day off from Algebra for my birthday, because even if we had gone in, we would have been counted absent for missing more than 15 minutes of class. Because HE doesn't know how to read a damn clock. That doesn't inspire any confidence in my supposed math teacher.

Community: A Rant

I try not to rant in my journal at dA, partly because more people are likely to read whatever I write there, but mainly because I spend forever on my normal journal entries and hunting down features, and they're getting a week of screentime dammit. So ranting goes here instead.

Though a thread at EL was the straw that broke the camels back as it were, this is a rant that has been building from the very first day I joined deviantART. I'm tired of having this argument over and over in group threads and chatrooms.

I can't go anywhere online without tripping over something fantastic that blows my mind and challenges my preconceptions and makes me think in new ways. And given that the Internet is lousy with great art, this leads me to believe that maybe great art isn't what makes deviantART special. Yeah, the art IS great and all, but great art is fucking everywhere. And all I have to do is pull up a tab. But nowhere - NOWHERE else has such a varied, spastic, insane, supportive, encouraging, enraging, engaging, hilarious, and AWESOME community as dA.

I never expected anything of myself. I was another kid who liked art and decided to give writing a try. But some kind souls out there did expect something, because they took the time to point out what a crap writer I was and how I could be better. I took their advice and I'm still taking it every day. You are never too good to stop improving. You are never too good not to take criticism, no matter who gives it.

I don't want faves. I don't want silence. I want artists to get out there with their art and meet people and teach them what you know and let them teach you in return. I want artists to offer support and don't offer compliments if they don't mean them and tell someone when they're doing it wrong but don't be a dick about it either and keep improving and never fucking stop.

dA is an art community. We've all got the first part down pat - how about promoting the other half a little more?

Autumn Brontide

It rained today. Buckets and buckets of the stuff. I stood outside for nearly an hour, just watching the world come crashing down on my roof. The wind was crazy erratic, blowing the rain horizontal down the street one second and right into me hiding under the awning the next.

It would pour and then it would kind of stop for a while and things would go back to that overcast sharpness, that kind of new, dusty quality the atmosphere takes on after a good rain. Then it would pick up again and get really loud and dark and I was honestly wondering if I should be making sure none of the clouds were getting a green tinge (for those unaware, green skies are a tornado warning sign).

Anyway, it does this all afternoon and finally lets up around 7:00ish and I know - know that I should really hop in my car and go for a drive. I don't know why except maybe that the sky and the light quality looks kinda cool, but you don't have time to waste when it's that close to sunset. So off I go.

There are two places that come to mind - the lake and the bridge. I head for the lake first, as that's where I usually go. Unfortunately, said lake is in a sort of valley that obscures what I'm looking for, especially with this many clouds. Nothing worth getting my camera out for; though that hazy orange color overlaying everything is neat, it wouldn't really show up on film.

The bridge then. I wasn't able to take any pictures, but I'm glad I went. It was all blue-grey clouds and lightning on one side, and sherbert wisps on the other. Nothing but forest and pasture down below, and a small river running along, and some of the cows are out grazing and everything just looks very sharp to my vision in all the extreme contrast.

I took that backroad all the way to a nearby exit and got back on the highway towards home. I stopped for frappes at Hastings because it was happy hour, and why waste a good thing? By the time I get there, it's almost completely nightfall, but the storming hasn't stopped yet; there's no rain and no thunder, but the lighting is still giving its all. I barely went into Hastings. Just long enough to get my drinks then I sat out in the parking lot for a while, just watching.

Then I went home and gave the other frappe to my grandmother and pulled up this tab to tel you all why I named this blog what I named this blog and I can still hear the thunder but I've got a journal entry to finish.

Wednesdays

I have two classes that are reserved strictly on Wednesdays; Career Perspectives and Film as Literature.

I had high expectations of Film for obvious reasons, and equally high expectations of Perspectives because Minnick is teaching it. First impressions?

Well, Film was kind of a letdown really. I know it's the first day and all, but I was getting the impression that the professor wasn't too psyched to be back in classes. We're starting with Dracula and vampire films; my understanding is we'll be reading the book and watching at least three movies based upon it. I've never been a fan of vampires, so I'm kinda iffy. Our other two books are The Great Gatsby and Heart of Darkness, both of which I've read and neither of which I liked, so take that as you will.

Career Perspectives meanwhile, was at least interesting. Our first day was spent talking to a lawyer and how it can relate to the field we're in. I have no intention of going to law school given my poor people skills, but it was neat to simply listen. We have a schedule of speakers coming in over the semester, including people in education, web design, advertising, different places we can take an English degree. The bulk of our work though, is going to be concentrated on building a portfolio.

My case is a bit odd as a transfer student who is behind on credits, so I'm not entirely sure what I'll be submitting even though the guidelines are clearly spelled out on the syllabus. I can't submit anything from Composition for example, because I didn't take that at UALR. I'll need at least four papers though, and some creative writing stuff. I don't think it will be terribly difficult, but the evaluation portion has the potential to be problematic, again because I didn't do all of these things at UALR. I'm not sure how I'm going to work around all of that yet.

I actually do enjoy self-evaluation and reflective assignments, I've just never had one this intensive. And I've never had to cite my own papers to write a paper o_O

Postcard Fiction

I wrote it a thousand times on my 1940’s typewriter, practiced the words mentally a million times, mouthed the sentence into my pillow every night for years – but only said it once, aloud, to your casket.

I enjoy one-sentence flash fic. This one was prompted by the photo one one of these cute little postcards I ordered that came in yesterday. Part of that project I mentioned last entry, that I've decided to name Postcard Fiction. I'm really enjoying the idea a lot now that I've had time to mull it over more. I have so many cards now, and I bought a few stamps to play with and I think I can have a bit of fun to pass around throughout the year.

First Day Back

You know how you get good ideas at weird times? That happened to me last night.

I went to bed early like a good student is supposed to; 2 AM, I'm still awake, and I think to myself I should have written some postcards to stuff in the professor's mailboxes. Instead of rolling over and ignoring the impulse, I realized it actually was a good idea, got up, fished out a card, and wrote a welcome back message for Dr. Minnick. But only one since it was so late.

I've since written one to the new linguistics professor, welcoming him to campus, and I've had time to refine the idea after some stuff in Adolescent Lit. But I'll get there momentarily.

My day began with History of the English Language (the one the new professor is teaching). My first impressions are that it's going to be a rigorous course, but an interesting one. After the usual syllabus stuff, we got to do some decoding with runic script, which was pretty neat. It's hard to say from one class if I'm going to like it or not - if it is going to be a lot of decoding like that, it might get old quickly. Then again, I do like puzzles. We'll see.

Next up is Algebra. The first day was not promising - we couldn't get into the classroom. On the bright side, we left quickly.

Approaches to Literature seems pretty fun so far. My initial impression was of an easy A. I think it will be a mostly reading and discussion sort of class, which tend to be my favorites. And we're reading Calvino in there later this year and I believe I've made my love of Calvino clear in the past <3

And thus we come to Adolescent Literature and I don't need to tell anyone how much I love this class. I enjoy the books, I enjoy the discussions, I love the professor - I'm here for the fun of it.

I've mentioned Minnick and I were swapping writing projects back and forth, and today he made a point of starting class with a close reading of a piece of flash fiction because he knew I would be there. Which is where I got a second idea for my postcard thing - he loves flash fic and one-sentence stories and all those really brief forms of writing. In short, fragments. So I've like to write a new one on a postcard say, every week, and stuff it in his mailbox. One of the names for flash fiction is "postcard fiction," so it's rather satisfying that way. And I do have an abundance of postcards now that I've started to make my own.

I dunno, *I* thought it was a neat idea. And it'll keep me in a bit of practice.

WordPress?

I know a few people over there, and I did go ahead and make an account in case I ever need to use it, but are there any opinions out there? I like Blogger okay, but I'd hate to miss out on something better. And I know a few of my watchers have accounts here because of my encouragement XD

It seems like they're equally easy to get used to, though from what I can tell WordPress does have more features. I'd hate to switch after using this one so much though - there's an entire semester and summer of posts here after all. Thoughts?

Making Postcards

(Mostly for some of the deviantART people XD)

Since postcards have been difficult to find around here, I've decided to invest in making my own. I went to a craft store on Tuesday to browse for some ideas and walked out with a stack of scrapbook paper. I was interested in the stamp section, but stamps are apparently ridiculously expensive. I kinda knew that, but not really. Luckily, I have a birthday coming up in September.

Some of the cards I've made so far:

 

 

   

 

 

See one you like? Note me (on dA) with an address =D I love sending mail <3

Painting

Made these in today's church/ art class thing. Mine is the green one - the purple is my Mom's. I hear next time we're painting a coffee cup.

I'm not particularly proud of it or anything, but it is growing on me. I've nowhere to put it, but I do kinda like how the tree turned out. We were supposed to paint a flower in the middle, but I wasn't feeling the flower.

Daily Deviation

Or, Why I Nearly Fell Out of Bed This Morning.

I can't explain how ridiculously pleased I am to have landed a DD on Superimpose. I am so grateful for this. Not that I was any less grateful for the honor on Recycled Dreams but this - this is personal. This was lifted right from the past six months or so. It means more to me than Recycled Dreams did, and more than most of the things in my gallery come to that.

I've had the pleasure of being good friends with an absolutely wonderful, amazing teacher these past few months. I love the guy and look up to him a lot and he's just been so encouraging to me in regards to writing and trying to point me in the right direction. I'm glad I grew enough spine to give him the piece - usually, I keep my work more or less to myself (outside of online of course, where I'm always under the guise of a certain amount of anonymity). I can't recall anyone else who's ever asked to read more things from me just because, not as part of a class. He's always been so kind to me and taken the time to chat even when he's busy. That guidance means a lot to me.

I was in the English lounge on Thursday, which was when he told me he would be the new Associate Dean and wouldn't be doing much teaching before long. I really am happy for him and he seemed excited about the prospect, even though I really would have loved to keep taking classes under him. It won't effect Fall semester though, so I still have one more round of Adolescent Lit. and I'm taking his Career Perspectives class as well. Maybe I'll have something to add on to Superimpose before Christmas break.

Even if I don't see him as much in the course of his new role, I'm really happy to have known him as a professor. A dean or someone in that kind of position seems kinda unapproachable, and I wouldn't have had a reason to meet them anyway.

I'm getting kinda rambly because I'm not entirely sure how to say all the things I want to say. I feel like I've learned a lot, though most of it was outside of the classroom and I guess he kinda became something of a mentor figure to me without me ever really noticing it. I know he'll be busier than ever as the Associate Dean, but if he ever has a few minutes to spare, I hope he'll continue being that person. And that I can still help out with his writing project =)

Item Get

Usually when I'm on the hunt for a particular item, I have a hard time finding exactly what it is I want. One thing is the right size, but the wrong color, good material, but too expensive, and so on. Today was a moment of serendipity.

My postcard collection has been growing, and I needed a place to begin keeping them. This was perfect. I loved the postal theme when I saw it and sprang the six bucks. I feel very accomplished.

Eventually I need to catalog my postcards here as well XD

Journey

I've been after this game, Journey, for quite a while, and I finally got my PS3 back from my brother last night. I used the opportunity to cash in the PSN card I had stashed away and downloaded this sucker.

This game you guys. This. Game.

I'd heard nothing but good things about it from day one, so my expectations were high. Not nearly high enough as it turns out, because it is stunning. I've already played it though twice. I can't think of a single criticism against the game, and I consider myself fairly nitpicky.

I've been following the Art and Indie game scene for a while as they tend to produce some of my favorite games (Braid, anything from Team Ico), and Journey is another one for the list. The minimalistic approach is fantastic - I felt like I was watching storytelling in its purest form. The lack of words, names, dialogue sounds like it should produce a dulled experience but it doesn't; the game simply doesn't need any of it. Centuries of stories have conditioned us to understand exactly what the game wants us to do without having to be told "Do this." I never questioned how I was going to get to the mountain or why I was going there or what that shining beacon at the top was or what all those ruins were - I only knew I had a goal to be reached. It taps into something on an almost ancient level.

Which isn't to say all the usual game mechanics are lacking - not at all. The lack of elements only means that what you do have will stand out all the more if it's flawed. Luckily, someone must have spent long hours polishing every facet of this game. The visuals, the music, the mechanics - everything works together beautifully. The graphics alone are enough to evoke emotional responses, from an empty desert to the sun shining on the sand. I could stand around and look at it all day. I especially love the dusty lighting of the pseudo-water levels. But there honestly aren't enough words to describe the environment; you just have to play it and watch it move and shift and interact with everything. Videos and screenshots just won't cut it.

But seriously, every screenshot is this gorgeous.

The movement on the sand and of the cloth is a (seemingly) small thing perhaps, but if you know anything about animation, you should know how difficult it is to animate things with that kind of fluidity. Here, it all feels right - sand is supposed to shift and move when you take a step. Cloth ripples. Flight is supposed to be fun, uplifting. Nothing has been overlooked, no detail is too small to skim on the polish.

What I think really gets to people though it the immersion and the emotional response. There is no menu, no items to carry, no gamertags. It sucks you right into the world and doesn't let go until the journey is over (about two hours or so). I went into the game cold, so I didn't know about the multiplayer function. I wasn't sure if the fellow robed figures I met were part of the game or actual players - then, at the end, the screen  reveals who you have been playing with the entire time. The revelation was surprisingly touching for me; I don't usually play online, so it kinda took the rug out from under my feet as it were. I'm not used to players acting like decent human beings within a game XD

I mentioned earlier about the lack of dialogue; while there is no talking, there is a story of sorts. I won't go into it much, but it is a very interesting one, told entirely through images. Again, it does not cheapen the effect - you simply get it. If anything, speaking would dilute the effect. Even something simple as a name would have the potential to assign a gender, an age, race, species to your character. Ignoring all of those things makes for a universally accessible experience. The story is exactly what you interpret it as. Me, I read a lot about the rise and fall of civilization and quite a lot more about how people are bonded together. I've made my Internet rounds and there are plenty of reactions out there to read.

But there is one aspect I'm not entirely sure how to put into words, though I'll try my darnedest anyway. The game is about a lot of things, but if the title is anything to go by, it's about the journey most of all. The Hero's Journey stripped down to it's barest minimum. The game is full of moments that have this joy to them - like they exist for no other reason than to create something beautiful. It's just pure and simple fun to fly around and play with the scarf-banner-magic-carpet-dragon things (I have no idea what the things you encounter are, but they're damn cute). It's one of those things where the experience is what matters, not the game or the story or any of its parts. I don't know what else to call it except awesome.